Summer Still Sucks
by Style Marshlovski
Summary: The boys are spending their summer vacation in separate places. Can they survive their ensuing ordeals long enough to see each other again? - Sequel to "Mending the Fences" - Stary, Bunny, and more pairings to come!
1. Change of Plans

**Hey :D I'm still working on my music, but I really wanted to get back into writing my fics before it's been too long and becomes difficult. And doing both at the same time isn't as hard as I thought it would be—although the updates might be a little slower than last time.**

**This is the third story in my "Cynicism" saga, so as I said in the last one, please read the previous fics in the series first! And as always, reviews (both good and constructively critical) are welcome, but all flames will be doused with a giant water gun :-P**

* * *

**_Change of Plans_**

There was only one week left until summer vacation began for the kids of South Park, and Stan could hardly wait. It had been five months since he and Kyle patched things up, and they were as close as ever. Both of them were looking forward to hanging out with Kenny and Butters as much as possible over the long break.

Stan thought about all the awesome stuff they'd get to do as he heard the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of Gary—his official boyfriend of five months—for their Friday night sleepover.

"Hi, Stan," he was met by that perfect smile when he opened the door.

"Hey, you."

"'Hey, you'? What kind of greeting is that?" Gary laughed.

Stan pulled him in and shut the door behind him. "Is this better?" he asked as he kissed him passionately.

"Wow…_somebody's_ in a good mood."

"And why shouldn't I be? By this time next week, we'll be out of school for the summer. We'll finally be finished with fourth grade, and we won't have to deal with Mr. Garrison anymore. Best of all, we'll have plenty of uninterrupted time to spend with our friends."

"Yeah, about that, Stan…"

"Stanley!" Sharon called from the kitchen. "Oh good, you're here, Gary," she walked out. "Dinner's just about ready, boys."

"Thanks, Mom… So what were you saying?"

"Let's wait till after we eat," Gary suggested. "We should really talk alone first."

"OK…" Stan felt a little worried. What could be so serious that they needed to discuss it privately?

…

After supper, Stan took Gary up to his bedroom so they could be by themselves. "All right, we're alone. What did you wanna tell me?"

"Remember how I said that my brother Mark stayed in contact with his girlfriend back in Salt Lake?"

"Yeah."

"He proposed to her last month, and they're getting married this summer."

"That's great!…Isn't it?"

"Oh, we're all happy for him. It's just…it's taking place in Utah, so I won't be around here."

"Oh. When is it?"

"Well, the wedding's in August…"

"Hey, you'll still be home for a while before then."

"No, Stan…we're leaving a week from tomorrow."

Stan sat there in shock. "What?"

"Mark has to be there to help with the wedding plans."

"But why can't he go on his own?"

"They'll be settling down in that area once they're married. It might be a while before we get to see him again, so we want to spend as much time together as possible."

"So you'll be gone the whole summer?"

Gary silently nodded.

"I can't believe this… Why didn't you tell me sooner so I'd have time to get used to the idea of us being apart?"

"Because I want you to come with me."

"Huh?"

Gary took Stan's hands. "I don't want to be away from you that long, Stan. I asked my parents already and they said it was OK. And Mark sees you as part of the family, so he'd be happy if you came along. You could even bring Sparky if you wanted. What do you say?"

"Gee…I don't know, Gary. That's a long time to be away from my family…not to mention my friends. I was away from them for a long time already when I was stuck in my cynicism."

"I know it's a big decision to make."

"Can I take some time to think it over?"

"Sure, take all the time you need." Gary lay down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. Stan rested his head on the pillow as Gary hugged him close. "You know I'll still love you no matter what you choose, right?"

"I know," he nodded his head slowly.

"Good," he kissed Stan's cheek. "Do you feel like watching a movie?"

"Sure. Lemme turn on my computer." As Stan started it up and looked for something good to watch, one thing kept running through his mind: _I'm screwed._

* * *

"Kyle!" Sheila yelled upstairs. "Time to get up! We don't want to be late for temple!"

Kyle groaned at the sound of his human alarm clock. He dressed quickly and came down for breakfast. "Why does temple have to be so early?" he complained. "Just once I'd like to sleep in a little on a Saturday."

"Morning service is very important, Kyle," said Gerald. "We wouldn't want to miss it, would we?"

"Anyway, it isn't that long, bubby," Sheila reminded him. "It'll be over before you know it, then you can spend the day however you want. Ike, for the love of Abraham, eat your shakshuka!"

"No…" Ike pouted.

…

Drool was starting to fall from the side of Kyle's mouth toward the end of the service.

"I just have one last announcement before we conclude," said Rabbi Schwartz.

"Finally," Kyle sighed.

"This year, the Jew Scouts will be hosting a summer retreat up in the Colorado Rockies. All scouts and squirts interested in participating should meet here at the synagogue ready to board the shuttle by seven a.m. this following Sabbath."

"Did you hear that, Kyle?" asked Gerald excitedly. "A Jew Scout retreat for the whole summer! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"No," Kyle grimaced.

"Kyle, where's your sense of tradition?" Sheila chided him. "It's important to take every opportunity given to celebrate your Jewish heritage. Ike understands, don't you, little man? You want to go on a summer trip with the Squirts?"

"I pooped my pants!"

"But what about my friends? I won't see them at all."

"Sure you will," said Gerald. "You can chat with them on FaceTime."

"It won't be the same…" Kyle muttered. _I almost lost Stan's friendship _once_ for abandoning him. How can I risk that again?_

* * *

"Aagh…" Cartman stretched as he woke up bright and early on Monday.

"Morning, poopsikins," Liane greeted him at his bedside.

"Morning, Mom."

"I made you breakfast in bed. It's your favorite: powdered donut pancake surprise." She placed it in front of him and left the room.

"Sweet…" As Cartman began to dig in, two of the donuts started rolling off the tray and onto the floor. "Ey! Come back nyah!" They suddenly began to float in the air. "The fuck?" Slowly, the holes in the center of the donuts morphed into big black eyes, while the donuts around the holes expanded to form a thin, pale body with a long head. "AAAHH!" Cartman shouted. The visitor grabbed his leg and dragged him down the hallway. "Weeeak!"

The next thing Cartman knew, he was lying facedown on an operating table with his ass hanging out of his pajama bottoms. Visitors were standing around him, and one of them picked up a tire pump and probed him with it. The alien began pumping air into him until he was almost completely round.

After they were done, the visitors dropped Cartman from their spaceship over the bus stop. He looked up from where he lay on the ground and saw Stan, Kyle and Kenny standing over him.

"Dude, Cartman looks like a giant beach ball!" said Stan.

"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "Did you swallow the Death Star, fatass?"

The two of them laughed at Cartman. Then the school bus pulled up, and the kids on board started pointing and laughing.

As his friends got on, Kenny turned back to him and shook his head in disappointment. "I knew you'd never change."

"NOOO!" Cartman woke up screaming. He quickly removed the covers to see that he was still his normal size. Then he checked his cell phone and realized it was only Sunday morning. He sighed over having another nightmare about getting fatter. "God dammit…"

…

Cartman sat in front of the TV pushing his egg whites and turkey bacon around with his fork. He was still trying to get used to his healthier diet. Ever since Kenny's last visit to his house, he'd been making an attempt at improving his eating habits to better himself and meet his blond friend's faith in his ability to change. Unfortunately, he still craved sweets and fatty foods. He'd try to eat the right things, but he'd end up covering them in sugar, butter and salt to enhance their favors. Not surprisingly, he didn't find himself losing much weight. He rested his head in his hand as he chewed on an orange slice.

"Something the matter, sweetie?" asked Liane.

"I don't think I'm getting any thinner, Mom."

"Sure you are, hon. It just takes a little time for it to be really noticeable."

"It's been five months already! When the hell am I supposed to notice it? I need to take more drastic measures… Mom, I've made a decision: I wanna go to fat camp."

"Eric, we tried that once. You brought junk food in and sold it to the other campers."

"Mom, I'm seriously this time. I'm tired of being fat."

"I told you, poopsikins, you're not fat, you're big boned."

"Well, I'm tired of being a big boner then! Just call the fat camp and tell them I'm ready to come back."

"Sweetie, you were banned from going back there, remember?"

"Then find another fat camp! God, do I have to think of everything?"

"I'll look online and see what's available," she headed for the computer.

"Get me some more orange slices while you're up," he called. "I'm not paying you to sit on your ass." Cartman pulled out his BFF necklace and grasped it tightly. _Things are gonna be different, Kinny. Just you wait._

* * *

**Hmm…this chapter looks a lot more scattered and rushed now that I've re-read it :-/ I hope it at least got you interested in the story ^_^**


	2. Going Our Separate Ways

**Thank you guys for this fic's warm reception :-) I hope I'll be able to keep it going for a while—a lot can happen during summer vacation O_O**

**Oh, and I forgot to mention earlier that I don't own ****_South Park_****.**

* * *

**_Going Our Separate Ways_**

When the Marshes got home from church that afternoon, Sharon stopped Stan before he headed to his bedroom. "Honey, you've been so quiet the last couple of days. Is anything bothering you?"

Stan sighed. "Gary's spending the summer in Utah for his brother's wedding."

"Oh… I'm sorry, Stanley. I know it'll be hard not seeing him for that long."

"Actually, he invited me to go with him and his family."

"Really? Well, if you were worried about asking our permission, it's fine with us. The Harrisons are good people, and I know you'll be safe with them."

"But all my friends are here, Mom. If I go, I won't see them until the new school year. I hate to upset anyone. I don't know what I should do…"

"Kyle! Pick Kyle!" his dad popped in.

"Randy, you're not helping! Stanley, I understand how difficult this decision is. You're worried about upsetting Gary if you stay, or upsetting your friends if you leave. But you need to think about what you really _want _to do; the choice that'll make _you _happier. Then you'll have your answer," she smiled.

"Thanks, Mom," said Stan as he went to his room to weigh his options.

* * *

"Poopsikins, I have some news."

"What?" Cartman asked.

"I couldn't find any other fat camps in the area."

"Fuckin' butthole!" he yelled.

"Calm down, Eric. I called Hopeful Hills, and they've agreed to let you enroll again. They said that after the difficulty you brought them, the counselors decided to try out a new policy to keep campers from cheating."

"What new policy?"

"They wouldn't say—something about not wanting you to be prepared for what's in store ahead of time. The important thing is that you'll be able to go to fat camp after all."

"Killer." _I can't wait to tell Kinny the good news._

* * *

The last week of school began bright and early Monday morning. "I never thought I'd like _Hello Kitty Island Adventure_," Kenny said as he walked in the building with Stan, Kyle and Butters, "but I gotta admit, it's pretty kick-ass."

"I told ya it was fun!" Butters said excitedly.

Kyle and Stan looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes. They could tell Kenny was obviously trying to make Butters happy.

"Psst," came a sound from the boys' room. "Kinny," the voice whispered.

"Uh…you guys go on ahead to class," said Kenny. "I'll catch up in a minute." He walked into the restroom. "Cartman?"

"Get in here," he called from a stall.

"I'm not going in there with you."

"I don't want anyone else to hear this."

"There better not be anything in that toilet but water," Kenny rolled his eyes and joined Cartman in the stall. "OK, what is it?"

"Before I tell you this, I want you to know that I really tried to lose weight on my own. But I realize now that I need an extreme makeover."

"Oh my God, Cartman, you're not thinking about getting liposuction, are you?"

"No, dammit, I'm going back to fat camp!"

"Are you serious?"

"You bet your skinny ass I'm serious. They're even starting some new policy to discourage cheating, and it's all thanks to me. I guess that makes me pretty kewl, huh?"

"That's so awesome," Kenny smiled. "You're actually making a real effort."

"Well, you know, I guess I sorta thought about what you said or whatever…change or something…" he mumbled.

"I'm really proud of you, Cartman."

"Just…keep quiet about it, will you? I don't want anybody teasing me about it."

"It'll be our secret."

"Thanks." His eyes darted around for a few seconds. Then he nervously stepped forward and gave Kenny a quick hug. "So…yeah, I guess that about wraps it up then," he opened the door.

"Hey Kenny, the bell rang," Butters walked in just as the two boys were coming out of the stall. "W-what were you fellas doin' in _there_?"

"Uh…I was checking Kinny for…ass cancer." Cartman assumed his professional voice and said, "Everything appears to be in order, Mr. McCormick."

"Gee Kenny, why didn't you go to the doctor?"

"I'm…too poor?" he tried.

"You sure are, buddy," Cartman patted Kenny's shoulder. "Well, best be off to class. Good day to you, gentlemen."

* * *

Kyle and Stan walked out to the playground together at recess. Kyle kept his hands in his pockets and bit his lip. Taking a deep breath, he spoke up. "Hey, Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"There's something I have to tell you…"

Suddenly, Stan caught Gary out of his peripheral vision. "Hold that thought, Kyle. I'll be back in a minute."

Kyle watched as Stan hurried over to his boyfriend and motioned for him to walk around to the side of the building. "Can't they wait till after school to make out?"

…

"What's up, Stan?" Gary wondered.

"I know where I wanna be this summer."

"You do?" he asked with a mix of anticipation and apprehension.

"You know I've been super worried about leaving my friends. I hated being away from them before, and I've been scared I might open up old wounds doing it now."

"I know you have," Gary nodded. He could already tell where this was going.

"I've known them forever, but you and I've only been hanging out less than a year."

"I completely get that," he tried to hide his disappointment.

"So since Kyle and Kenny have known me so long, I'm positive they'll understand that the two of us need this extra time together."

"Come again?"

"I wanna go to Utah, Gary. I'm choosing you."

"All right!" he squeezed Stan tightly. "You're the best boyfriend ever!"

"How many boyfriends have you had?" he teased.

"Just one," he lightly flicked Stan's nose.

"Cut it out!" Stan laughed. "Well, I guess I'd better go break the news to Kyle," he got serious.

"He'll understand; you said so yourself."

"Right," Stan tried to keep that in mind.

…

"Sorry about that," said Stan when he reached Kyle.

"Forget it," Kyle waved it off. "Listen, I need to tell you something really important, but I don't think you're gonna like it."

"Well, _I _need to tell _you _something really important, and I _know _you're not gonna like it."

"Me first, it's pretty big."

"It can't be as big as mine."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "OK, let's just tell other at the same time."

"OK, on three."

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three."

"I'm going away this summer," they answered simultaneously. "You are?"

"Where are you going?" Stan asked.

"My parents signed me up for a Jew Scout retreat. What about you?"

"I'm going to Utah with Gary."

"I guess I didn't really need to be so nervous about telling you after all."

"Yeah, me neither. If we're both going away, what's the big deal?"

"Hey, guys," Kenny ran up to them.

"Oh…" their looked at each other.

"Why the long faces?"

"Kenny, we won't be here for the summer," Kyle said apologetically.

"You won't?" he asked disappointedly.

"Gary's going to Salt Lake City, and we really need to be together right now. Sorry, dude."

"I could try to sneak you into Jew Scouts again if you wanna come with me on our mountain retreat."

"Thanks but no thanks, Kyle. Jew Scouts didn't turn out so well for me last time. Boy, first Cartman, now you guys… this is starting out to be a pretty lousy summer break."

Stan was struck with an idea. "You know, with us gone, Butters won't have any other friends to hang out with."

This piqued Kenny's interest. "Yeah?"

"That's right, Kenny," said Kyle. "He'll be pretty sad to see us go. You might just have to take on the responsibility of comforting him _all by yourself_."

"Yeah…" he grinned.

"Hey, fellas," Butters walked over. "Ya wanna go on the jungle gym?"

"Bad news, Butters," Kenny put on a sad face. "Kyle and Stan are leaving us for the whole summer." He added a sniffle for extra effect.

"Aw…there, there, Kenny," Butters patted his back. "Do ya need a hug?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt," he shrugged.

Butters gave him a tight squeeze, while Kenny smirked at his two friends.

Kyle gave him his _Really?_ look, while Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.

* * *

The week went flashing by. When the final rang on Friday afternoon, all the kids rushed out of school to begin their long-awaited summer vacation. Stan, Kyle and Gary each went home to pack their suitcases for the next morning. Then that evening, Kenny and Butters joined them at the Marsh household for one last night together.

"I think this is the first time we've ever done this," Stan realized later on.

"Done what?" Kyle wondered.

"Had a giant sleepover with all five of us."

"We'll have to do it again when we get back," said Gary.

"Sleepovers sure are fun, huh fellas?" Butters asked.

"Hey, Butters, _we _still haven't had a sleepover," Kenny reminded him.

"You'll have plenty of time for that while we're gone," said Kyle.

"I dunno. I had a hard enough time convincin' my dad to let me sleep over with a buncha my classmates. He'd probably ground me for askin' again."

"Let's worry about that later," Kenny suggested.

"Yeah, we better get some sleep," said Stan. "We have to get up early." He and Gary climbed into bed, while Butters curled up next to Kenny in his sleeping bag.

"Goodnight, everybody," Gary smiled.

"Goodnight," they answered.

Kyle looked around at his paired-off friends and suddenly felt a little lonely. Then he heard a scratching at the door. "Hey, Sparky," he let him in. "Looks like it's you and me tonight, boy," he pet him as he crawled back into his sleeping bag. In the darkness of the room, Kyle could feel a gentle humping against his leg. "God dammit…"


	3. Some Unexpected Guests

_Happy Mother's Day, everybody! 8-D_

_I don't own FaceTime or the iPad either :b_

* * *

**_Some Unexpected Guests_**

Stan's alarm clock woke the boys up at six a.m. By quarter after, they were all out the door and ready to leave.

Gerald and Ike were the first to arrive. "Ready to go, Kyle?"

"Where's Mom?"

"She went on ahead already. She's meeting us at the synagogue with a big surprise."

"Cool." He turned to his friends. "I guess this is it. Stay out of trouble, will you, Butters?"

"W-well, I'll sure as heck try!" he hugged Kyle.

"And Kenny…"

"No promises here," said boy chuckled.

"I wouldn't think to ask," Kyle hugged him. Then he turned to his super best friend. They both started crying as they hugged each other tightly.

"I can't believe we have to say goodbye so soon," Stan wept.

"I know. But hey, it'll be shorter than we were away from each other when we were fighting."

"That's true," he wiped his eyes. "And we still have FaceTime, right?"

"Yeah," he smiled, "and I'll be on it every day, so keep a lookout for me."

"Definitely."

Kyle looked at Gary. "Take good care of him, OK?"

"Of course I will," he hugged him. "Have fun."

"Not likely," Kyle rolled his eyes and walked to the car. He waved to his friends as his dad pulled away from the curb.

…

It wasn't more than a few minutes before the Harrisons pulled up. "Time to hit the road, boys," Gary Sr. greeted them cheerfully.

Stan sighed. "Well, we have to get going."

"Have a safe trip," Kenny hugged him. "I won't be around to cushion the blow if something happens."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence. Those FaceTime chats apply to you too."

"I can't afford an iPad, Einstein."

"That's OK, Kenny," Butters interjected. "You can borrow mine if ya want."

"Just make sure he's around when you use it," Stan told Butters.

"OK! You sure know a lot about iPads, huh Stan?"

"If you say so," he hugged Butters. Then he let Gary say his goodbyes while he hugged his parents, patted his grandpa's shoulder, and waved to Shelly from a safe distance. "C'mon, boy."

Sparky followed Stan and Gary into the van, and they were all Utah-bound.

…

"There they go," Kenny stared after them.

Butters felt bad for him. He knew he'd miss Stan and Kyle terribly himself, so he could only imagine how much their leaving would affect Kenny. "Do ya wanna come over to my house?"

Kenny really didn't feel like being alone. "That sounds pretty good right now."

* * *

The Broflovski men arrived at the temple around 6:45 where they were met by Sheila. "This is so exciting!" she cooed. "Your first summer retreat!"

"First and only," Kyle mumbled.

"Honey, don't forget about their surprise," Gerald reminded her.

"Oh, yes! You boys won't be going on this trip alone."

"I thought parents couldn't come along," said Kyle.

"Not _us_, bubby. Come on out, sweetie!"

Sheila's front passenger door opened, and out stepped something that made Kyle wish he'd woken up on a different planet. It made its way toward him, its heavy breathing increasing in volume. As it reached its destination, it opened his mouth and shouted, "I'm beeack!"

"AAAHH!" Kyle screamed in horror.

"Thanks again for picking me up at the airport, Aunt Sheila," said Kyle's cousin Kyle.

"Of course, Kyle," she replied.

"Hi, cousin Kyle! I can't believe we're actually going on a trip into the mountains! Oh, I hope the air isn't any thinner up in the Rockies; this high altitude is really doing a number on my asthma."

"Mom, why is he coming with us? Aren't there any other Jewish organizations he can join back in New York?"

"There aren't any in New York that are going camping, Kyle Two. Besides, if Kyle were back in New York, you wouldn't get to spend the entire summer together!"

"Oh God…" he groaned.

"Listen," said Gerald. "Rabbi Schwartz just called for the Scouts to start boarding."

"Wow, your rabbi has the same last name as me!" said Kyle's cousin Kyle. "Isn't that a crazy coincidence?"

"We should let you boys get on the bus now," Sheila said as she and Gerald hugged and kissed them all.

"Ready, Ike?" asked Kyle. "Kick the baby!"

"Don't kick the baby," he protested.

"Kick the baby," he answered and kicked Ike, who squealed with delight as he smashed through a bus window.

"Cousin Kyle!" his cousin called.

"What?"

"Would you mind carrying my bags onto the bus? I can't really do any heavy lifting or the stress on my back will give me a hernia."

Kyle sighed and began dragging the heavy luggage onto the bus. Once he was done, he sat down to rest.

"Oh good, you found us a seat! Do you mind if I have the window side? I need the fresh air on my face or all the heat inside the bus will fog up my glasses."

Frowning, Kyle stood to let his cousin in just as the bus was ready to go.

"Oh, I just realized I forgot to take my motion sickness medication. I hope the roads aren't too bumpy up in the mountains."

Kyle began hitting his head repeatedly on the seat in front of him as they took off toward the Rockies.

* * *

Stan yawned as the Harrison family finished up their third sing-along, with Sparky howling to the melody.

"What song should we do next, gang?" asked Gary's dad.

"Can we play a game instead?" Stan desperately suggested.

"What a great idea!" Gary's mom said. "How about 'I Spy'?"

"Good choice, Karen!" said his dad.

"I've got one!" Gary exclaimed. "I spy with my little eye something…blue."

"The sky!" Mark guessed.

"No."

"Your jacket!" Jennifer shouted.

"Uh uh."

"Your jeans?" David asked.

"Nope."

Painfully bored, Stan answered, "My eyes."

"Yes!" Gary kissed his cheek.

"Aw…" the family cooed.

Stan sighed in frustration.

Gary felt a tiny bit hurt. "You don't want me to kiss you, Stan?"

"No, it's not that. I'm just really sleepy from waking up so early."

"Do you want to lay your head on my lap?"

"OK," he lay across the seat. About a minute later, he felt something slobbering on his face. "Sparky, bad boy," he groaned.

"Oh, sorry…" said Gary. "Amanda got out of her car seat."

Stan peaked one eye open as another drop of drool fell from the Harrison baby's mouth. "Hello, Stan!"

"Ugh…"

* * *

"Eric, are you almost ready?" Liane knocked on Cartman's door. "We have to leave soon if we want to be on time for orientation."

"What's the big deal about orientation?" he called back. "I've already been there once."

"Orientation is when you get your Hopeful Hills custom T-shirt, hon."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Like I give a crap about a stupid T-shirt," he muttered as he came out of his room. "All right—time to face this head-on."

…

"Here we are, sweetie," his mom said when they arrived.

"Welcome, camper!" said the overly cheery male weight counselor. "My name is Rick."

"I know your damn name, Rick! I've been here before!"

"Oh, yes—Eric Cartman. You were quite a handful last time. But that's all in the past now. Whaddya say we get a fresh start?"

"God, what a douche," he mumbled.

"Sweetie, be nice."

Cartman sighed. "Yes, Weight Counselor Rick…"

"Now, give Mommy kisses," she smiled.

Cartman grunted as she planted one on his forehead.

"Bye bye, poopsikins! Have a wonderful time!" she drove off as he made his way to the orientation.

"OK, we're all here now," Rick said at the orientation. "I see a lot of new faces, but this introduction is important even for our old friends, right Susan?"

"That's right, Rick!" said the equally cheery female weight counselor. "You see, we're going to be doing things a little differently this time. To ensure no cheating occurs, we've brought in a peer counselor for each of you to keep a steady eye on your diet and exercising, as well as to encourage you in your fitness goals."

"Now, when I call your name, I'll pair you with the person who will be your peer counselor for the duration of the program."

Cartman listened half-heartedly as Rick called out people's names.

"Eric Cartman…"

He perked up at the sound of his name.

"…You'll be paired with…Wendy Testaburger."

"WHAT?!"

Wendy stepped out with a sour look on her face. Clearly, she wasn't any happier about the pairing.

Cartman face-planted on the ground. "My God has forsaken me…"

* * *

Kenny and Butters had spent hours playing on the Stotches' front lawn. At the moment, they were well into a game of Cops 'n' Robbers.

"Stop in the name of the law!" Kenny yelled.

"You'll never catch me, copper!" Butters retorted.

Suddenly, they halted dead in their tracks as a car pulled up in front of the house. The back door opened, and out stepped a familiar face.

"Bradley!" Butters shouted as he ran to hug his friend.

"Hi, Butters," he replied nervously.

"What are you doin' here?"

"Now that school's out, I wanted to come visit you."

"Well, it sure is great to see ya!"

Kenny cleared his throat. "Hi," he said.

"Oh!" said Butters. "Kenny, this is Bradley. He was my accountabilibuddy at Camp New Grace. Are ya still bi-curious?"

"No, Butters, I'm gay. After you stood up to those conversion therapists, I realized that there really isn't anything wrong with me. I talked to my parents and explained that this is just who I am. It was a little hard for them to accept at first, but they're starting to come around. It's all thanks to you."

"Aw shucks, Bradley, I just couldn't sit back and watch what they were doin' to ya."

"So are _you _still bi-curious?"

"Nah…I guess you could say I'm gay now too."

"Really?" Bradley's eyes lit up.

"Uh…Butters?" Kenny interrupted.

"Yeah, Kenny?"

"We're still playing Cops 'n' Robbers, right?"

"Oh, sure we are! Hey, maybe Bradley wants to play with us! Do ya, Bradley?"

"I guess so," he answered shyly.

"Neat-o! You can be my partner in crime! C'mon, we gotta run away from Kenny!"

"OK!" Bradley grabbed Butters' hand as they started running.

Kenny stood there for a moment staring with jealousy at their intertwined hands.

"Kenny, ain't ya gonna chase us?" Butters called back.

"Coming," he forced out through his constricted larynx.

* * *

_So the boys' vacations are finally underway! I'll be putting a little poll about this fic on my profile page, so make sure to check it out and vote ;-)_

_I also want to give a shout-out to _**kyelmarsh**_ for giving me the suggestion of introducing Bradley as a source of tension between Kenny and Butters._


	4. A Huge MisunderSTANding

_A little announcement: If you haven't seen it yet, I posted the first chapter of a side story to go along with this fic, called __**"Spaceman Spiff Meets Luke Skywalker."**__ It takes place during the same time period as this one, but it focuses on some of the other fourth graders. The plots of the two stories don't have anything to do with each other, so it isn't necessary to read the other fic to get everything that goes on here._

_All righty then, I have the results of the poll I put up for "Summer Still Sucks": The votes came out 75% in favor of having a full chapter dedicated to each boy's vacation, and 25% in favor of multiple vacations per chapter. I think the best way to make everybody happy while still being fair to the poll results would be to have most of the chapters focus on one specific vacation, with a few chapters of multiple vacations sprinkled in here and there._

_So without further ado, let's check in with Stan and Gary…_

* * *

**_A Huge MisunderSTANding_**

Stan slowly awoke to the sensation of being gently poked in the shoulder. "Huh?" he stirred in Gary's lap.

"Hey," Gary said softly. "We're stopping for lunch."

"Ngh…bring something back for me."

Gary whispered in Stan's ear, "If you come inside, we can play footsie under the table."

His eyes opened slightly. "Promise?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"I'm not even sure you're _capable_ of lying," he smirked. "Help me up."

Gary gave Stan a hand, then they tied Sparky up outside the diner and joined the Harrisons in a circular booth. The two of them kept brushing their shoes against each other's pant legs and covering their mouths from giggling.

"Boys, leave that kind of stuff in the car, all right?" Mr. Harrison said with a serious face.

Gary looked at his dad stunned, then slowly lowered his head to stare at his empty plate.

Just then, the waitress came over. "What can I get you folks?"

Everybody gave their lunch order, until it was Gary's turn. "I'm not hungry right now."

"Honey, you need to eat," Karen encouraged.

"That's OK, Mrs. Harrison," Stan answered. "He can share mine."

After the waitress left, Gary said, "I need to use the restroom." He slid out of the booth and walked toward the stalls.

Stan was shocked. He watched his boyfriend go from happy and carefree to solemn and introverted in a matter of seconds. The rest of the family seemed to notice it as well, judging by their uncomfortable silence.

When Gary returned a few minutes later, he rested his elbows on the table and cupped his hands above his eyes.

Stan touched his shoulder. "Gary?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Were you crying?"

"Please Stan," he begged. "I don't want to embarrass anybody again."

Stan suddenly found a steely determination and grabbed Gary's hand. "Come on," he pulled him out of the booth. "We're going back to the car," he turned back and sternly informed the family. "We'll take our food to go."

Stan untied Sparky and walked him to the van with his free hand, while walking Gary with the other.

Once inside the vehicle, Gary broke down.

"Shh…" Stan rubbed his back while Sparky licked his cheek. "It's OK. I'm right here."

"I don't understand… I thought he was fine with us being affectionate. Did he mean we could only do it in private? Is he really ashamed that I'm gay?"

Stan wanted to reassure Gary, but it certainly seemed like he was right about the situation.

…

After a long day of travel, Stan and the Harrisons decided to rest for the night in a pet-friendly hotel. They rented a four-bedroom suite: one room for Gary Sr. and Karen; one for Mark and David; one for Jennifer and Amanda; and one for Gary Jr. and Stan, who also took in Sparky.

Stan had his daily FaceTime chat with Kyle that night. "It doesn't make any sense," he told him. "I mean, he gave us this big speech months ago about how not all Mormons are homophobic or whatever, and now he doesn't want us to touch each other in public."

"That's stupid," Kyle said. "Gary, how are _you_ handling it?"

Gary just shrugged without looking at him.

"Whoa…my diabetes isn't acting up from his incredible sweetness, Stan. He must really be depressed."

"Yeah, thanks to his asshole dad."

"Stan, please don't say that about my father," Gary interrupted. "I don't talk badly about _yours_…even though it's obvious he'd prefer you going out with _someone else_," he mumbled the last part.

"What?"

"Listen, I'd better hit the hay," said Kyle. "I'll talk to you guys tomorrow, all right?"

"Sure thing. Good luck with your cousin," said Stan.

"Thanks, I'll need it. Goodnight, Stan."

"'Night, Kyle."

"Goodnight, Gary."

Gary gave Kyle a small hand wave.

"Why are you getting mad at _me_, Gary?" asked Stan. "I'm trying to support you."

"I know you are," his tone softened. "This whole thing just has me so upset. I never saw it coming."

"Me neither," Stan sighed.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and it opened partially. "Can I come in, boys?" asked Mr. Harrison.

"Gary needs some time to himself," Stan answered protectively.

"Please let me explain what I said to you in the diner. I don't ever want you boys to think that I have a problem with you expressing how you feel about each other. But there are some people in old community who aren't as accepting about two boys holding hands or kissing or showing love to one another. That prejudice is part of the reason we left in the first place. I tried to stop you because I don't want any narrow-minded people making you feel ashamed of who you are." He tilted Gary's chin up to look him in the eye. "I said what I said because I love you, son. I'm sorry I went about it the wrong way. Can you forgive me?"

"I understand, Dad. Of course I forgive you."

"Thank you," his dad embraced him. "Now, why don't you boys get ready for bed?"

As Gary headed into the common bathroom, Mr. Harrison lay a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Stan, I want you to know that I appreciate you standing up for Gary. I'm really glad he has you to look out for him."

"Thanks, Mr. Harrison," he smiled.

He returned the smile and left the room.

Gary came back shortly in his pajamas. "Bathroom's free."

Stan went out and opened the bathroom door. "Oops…"

"Oh, hi Stan," said a shirtless Mark. "I was about to take a shower. You can go first though."

"Thanks." He brushed his teeth and changed, then returned to the bedroom. "Boy, they have some weird towels in this hotel. Mark had one around his waist, and it almost looked like long underpants."

"They _are _underpants, Stan," Gary laughed. "It's called a temple garment. Mormons wear it to ward off evil and temptation. The underpants make up the bottom half and a T-shirt is the top."

"Oh… But I've never seen _you _wear one."

"A lot of people don't start wearing them until their late 20's. Although Mark's getting married, so he's wearing it _now_."

"They look comfortable. Like, I bet they don't squeeze your balls the way tighty whities do."

"Stan!" Gary looked horrified.

"What? All I said was 'balls.'"

"Don't say that!"

"Why? You told me to suck yours once."

"Well, I don't want to be reminded of it."

Stan smirked. "Baaalls…"

"Stop it!"

"Make me."

Gary pushed him facedown onto the bed and locked his arm behind his back. "You're forgetting I was captain of the wrestling team at my old school."

"Get off me!" Stan whined.

"Will you stop saying that word?"

"Yes, I swear!"

Gary bent down and kissed Stan's cheek, then let him up. "Goodnight, Stan," he grinned.

Stan caught his breath and crawled under the covers. _That…was pretty fuckin' sweet._


	5. Bottles and Tires and Bigfoot, Oh My!

_Holy poop on a stick, was this chapter ever hard to write!_

_It's now officially June 13th on the U.S. East Coast, which means it's my birthday! The bad news is I have to work today, but the good news is that my co-workers always bring in cupcakes for people's birthdays :D_

_Anyway, let's see how Kyle's putting up with his cousin…_

* * *

**_Bottles and Tires and Bigfoot, Oh My!_**

Onward and upward the bus drove into the Colorado Rockies. "Ninety-nine bottles of Shmaltz on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of Shmaltz," everybody sang. "If one of those bottles should happen to fall: ninety-eight bottles of Shmaltz on the wall…"

"I haven't participated in a sing-along in a while!" Kyle's cousin Kyle said excitedly. "The last time was two years ago when we were trying to lull my dad to sleep for his prostate exam."

Kyle eyed him suspiciously. "I know I'll hate asking this, but why didn't he just get nitrous oxide? Hospitals provide it for that kind of stuff."

"Oh, my father would _never _go to the hospital for a simple procedure like that! He had it done at home by our family doctor, my uncle Saul. Do you have any idea how expensive hospital bills are?"

"Why don't we find out how much it would cost to get my shoe removed from your—WHOA!" Kyle was thrown from his seat as the bus skidded to a halt. "What the hell was that?"

"Oy vey!" the bus driver shouted. "We got a blowout!"

"Can you change the tire?" asked Rabbi Schwartz.

"Vat am I, a mechanic?"

"Oh Jesus!" Kyle's cousin screamed. "We're all gonna die up here in the mountains!"

"Oh no…" Ike covered his eyes in fear.

"Calm down," Kyle said. "I think I know somebody who can help." He quickly checked his cell phone. "It's a little weak, but I _do_ have reception." He pushed speed dial.

"Kyle?"

"Hey, Kenny."

"You're not there already, are you?"

"Not even close. Do you know how to change a tire?"

"Well, sure. I've seen my dad do it tons of times. Plus, I've watched NASCAR pit crews in action."

"Good. We're kinda stuck right now. You think you can help us over the phone?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Awesome! Let me put you on speaker… Go ahead."

"OK, which end of the bus has the flat?"

"It's in the front," said the driver.

"Find something sturdy you can put behind the back wheels to keep the bus from rolling."

"We have the coolers we packed." Rabbi Schwartz and the driver unloaded a couple of full coolers and placed them behind the back tires.

"All right," Kenny continued. "Now get out the spare."

The driver unzipped the spare compartment on the front of the bus and took the tire out.

"And you have a jack, right?"

"A jack?" the driver asked confused.

Kenny sighed. "Is there a toolbox on board?"

"Yes, the bus company provided it."

"Kyle, I'm gonna hang up and call you on FaceTime so I can see what you have to work with. I'm with Butters, and he won't mind if I borrow his iPad. He's too busy having fun with _Bradley_," he noted bitterly.

"Bradley?" Kyle wondered. A minute later, he saw Kenny's FaceTime call coming in. "Hey."

"Yo. Bring me to the tools… OK, the jack is on the far right hand side of the box… No, _my _right."

With Kenny's guidance, the bus passengers pitched in and aided the driver in accomplishing the arduous task of changing the tire.

"Thanks for all your help, dude," Kyle said.

"Hey, what are friends for? Well, I'd better let you get back on the road."

"Wait, what were saying about Butters and that Bradley guy?"

"Uh…that's really more of a private conversation. Call me later on my cell if you can get away."

"Oh…sure thing."

"Talk to you then."

"Bye." And with that, Kyle climbed back aboard the waiting bus.

…

They arrived at the campsite around dusk. "All right, Scouts," said Rabbi Schwartz. "Let's gather our belongings and set up our tents. In the meantime, Shlomo, why don't you take our Squirts on a little nature hike?"

"But what if some of the Scouts need help with their tents?" asked the Bijou Cinema ticket clerk.

"We have Elders ready to assist. The Squirts need _their_ leader too."

"Yes, Rabbi," he sighed. "Come on, Squirts," he led them away dejectedly.

"Remember, we have a limited number of tents, so you'll need to pick a fellow Scout to bunk with."

"Oh, thank goodness!" said Kyle's cousin Kyle. "I was so worried about sleeping all alone out here, I was starting to break out in hives. I'm so glad we'll get to bunk together, cousin Kyle."

"No!" Kyle quickly exclaimed.

"No?"

"I, uh…already promised somebody else he could bunk with me before I knew you were coming."

"Really? Who is it?"

"Um…" Kyle looked around and spotted the only other Jewish kid from Garrison's class. "Francis!" he ran over to him.

"Hey, Kyle."

"Do you wanna be tent mates?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Great! Come help me set it up!" He ran back over to his cousin. "Here he is," he said as Francis arrived.

"Oh, OK. I'm sure I can find another tent to share."

"Well, you better hurry before everyone pairs up," Kyle encouraged him.

"Oh Jesus! Don't leave me out in the cold!" he ran to find another camper.

"Who was that?" Francis asked.

"My stupid cousin from New York. He's here for the retreat…like it or not."

…

"Here's another tree," said a very bored Shlomo. "Any questions so far?"

One of the Squirts raised his hand.  
"Yes, Ishmael?"

"Why do you talk so funny?"

"I have a small speech impediment!" he yelled angrily. "Any questions concerning our surroundings?"

Another Squirt put his hand up.

"Yes, Matthew?"

"What's that?" he pointed far ahead.

Shlomo squinted to see a large, furry creature that appeared to be standing on two legs. "God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob!" he said excitedly. "I think that might be…Bigfoot! Quick, Squirts! We have to get back to camp!" _If I can capture Bigfoot, I'll earn my chutzpah badge for sure! Then I can finally become a real Scout leader and not have to babysit these little Squirts anymore! First, I need plan…_

…

After it was dark, everybody gathered around a roaring fire as freshly made s'mores were passed around.

Kyle's cousin eyed his dessert. "Do these have marshmallows in them?"

"Yeah dude, they're s'mores," said Kyle.

"Oh, I can't eat marshmallows. They give me gas."

Francis leaned into Kyle's ear. "Is he for real?"

"You have no idea. Actually, I really shouldn't be eating mine either with my diabetes. You want it?"

"Sweet! Thanks."

When the Scouts and Squirts had finished their s'mores, it was time to turn in for the night.

"Thanks again for the double dessert," said Francis.

"Don't mention it," Kyle yawned. "See you in the morning."

"'Night," he clicked off the flashlight and fell right to sleep.

Kyle was just starting to doze off when he heard a noise outside.

"Psst."

He reluctantly unzipped the tent and poked his head out. "What is it?"

"My tent mate kicked me out for talking too much," said his cousin. "Can I sleep with you guys tonight?"

Kyle facepalmed. "Fine, just be quiet so Francis doesn't wake up." He crawled back into his sleeping bag while his cousin dragged his in and went to bed. It wasn't long before Kyle could hear the incessant noise of heavy breathing next to him. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

_If you were wondering, Shmaltz is a brewing company that makes Kosher brands of beer._

_I thought it would be interesting to incorporate Francis into the story. He's probably the most underused character in SP fanfics (he isn't even included in FF's list of characters for _South Park_). Not to mention he was shown to be Jewish in the "Jewbilee" episode, so Kyle really does have a fellow Jew in his class ;-)_


	6. Love Is a Contact Sport

_So when I got up from a chair, my cell phone fell out of my pocket with such force that the screen stopped working. I had to buy a new one, but with annual contracts now gone, it actually brought the monthly bill down. I guess it ended up being a lucky break :)_

_Butters seems pretty happy to see Bradley, but how is Kenny handling having to compete for his little Melvin's attention?_

* * *

**_Love Is a Contact Sport_**

Bradley, who was usually shy and reserved, ended up laughing out of pure enjoyment. "Wow, playing Cops 'n' Robbers was a blast!"

"It sure was, by golly!" Butters agreed. "It's even more fun with three people, isn't it, Kenny?"

"Yeah, loads of fun," he answered sarcastically.

"Say, my parents haven't met you yet, Bradley. Why don't we go inside and I'll introduce you?"

Bradley bit his thumbnail as his insecurities returned. "Gee…I don't know if they'd like me very much."

"Sure they would!" Butters patted his back. "What's not to like about you?"

Bradley suddenly felt warm and tingly from Butters' touch. "OK," he gave a small smile.

"We'll be back out in a minute, Kenny," said Butters as Bradley followed him into the house.

"Oh sure, take your time. I'll just be out here looking for shapes in the clouds…by myself."

…

Butters found his parents sitting in the living room reading, as usual. "Hey, Mom and Dad. This is Bradley, my accountabilibuddy."

They dropped their reading materials and looked up with shock. "Accounta…bilibuddy?" his mom repeated.

"Yeah, from Camp New Grace. You remember, right, Dad?"

"Uh…Butters, your mother and I need to have a talk. Why don't you take your little buddy upstairs and play?"

"Maybe we should just go back outside…"

"Oh, I'd really like to see your room," Bradley perked up.

"B-but Kenny's still waitin' for us."

"He told us to take our time, didn't he? Please?"

"W-well, all right, but just 'til my folks get done talkin'."

…

Kenny watched the clouds roll by. He sighed as every shape he picked out always ended up reminding him of Butters. He was jolted from his quiet gaze when his cell phone rang. He was a little surprised to see who was calling. "Cartman?"

"Finally, a friendly voice," he groaned.

"What do you mean?"

"She's driving me insane!"

"Who is?"

"Testaburger—that secret weapon I inspired was peer counselors, and they set me up with her!"

"No way," Kenny laughed. "Wendy's your peer counselor?"

"She follows me around everywhere I go to make sure I'm not cheating. And if that's not enough, that blond bitch has been hanging around her making things twice as bad!"

"I know it's not easy, Cartman, but nothing worth having ever is. Don't let her being there ruin everything for you."

"Fat chance of that… Heh heh, _fat_ chance…'cause it's fat camp!" he laughed.

"Got it."

"So how are you holding up without me?"

"Well, it's a lot quieter around here."

"Ey!"

"I'm kidding. You actually kinda helped me out of my boredom a little. I'm supposed to be hanging out with Butters, but he got a surprise visit from some out-of-town friend, so he's entertaining _him _now."

"Man, you've sure been spending a lot of time with Butters lately. Is there something you're not telling me?"

Kenny's pulse started racing. "No, of course not," he lied. "You know me—I'm all about the tits, dude!" he laughed with bravado.

"Yeah, what am I thinking? Well, I gotta get back before Testabitch comes looking for me. Thanks for the pep talk—you might wanna try it on yourself, too."

"If you say so. Bye, Cartman."

"Later, bro."

…

"You have a nice room," Bradley commented.

"Aw, it's OK, I guess. It's not as cool as my friends' rooms, though. You should see some of the neat stuff they have."

Bradley bit his lip. "I'm really happy to see you again, Butters."

"Well shucks, Bradley, I'm happy to see you, too."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since we left Camp New Grace."

"Aw, that's real nice," Butters smiled.

"Do you…ever think about me?"

"Well, sure I do! I always hoped you were doin' OK. You gave me quite a scare on that bridge, boy howdy! Why, I dunno what I woulda done if somethin' happened to you."

"You really like me that much?"

"You know I like you."

"You mean…_like _like?"

"You're funny, Bradley. Yeah, I like like you a lot lot!" Butters chuckled.

"Oh, this is so great!" he threw his arms around him. "I knew there was a reason I had to visit you!"

"Boy, you sure get excited about seein' people's rooms, huh Bradley?"

"Butters," Mr. Stotch called up.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Come downstairs, son. Your mother and I want to ask you something."

"OK. Let's go, Bradley." When they arrived, Butters asked, "What is it, Mom and Dad?"

"Bradley, sweetie," Linda said, "would you mind waiting outside for Butters?"

"Sure thing, Mrs. Stotch," he walked out the door.

"Now, Butters," his dad started, "we have a very important question for you, and we'd like you to tell us the truth."

"Uh…OK."

"Butters, are you still bi-curious?"

"Well, n-no, not exactly," he fiddled with his fingers.

"So you only like girls now?" his mother asked.

"Uh…" he looked down at his shoes.

"You answer your mother right now, young man!" Stephen commanded.

"I l-like b-boys!" he shut his eyes tightly.

"You're…gay?" his father raised his eyebrow.

"Y-yes, sir," he nodded and cringed.

His parents looked at each other, then back at him. "All right, Butters," said Linda. "That's all we wanted to know."

"Huh?" he opened his eyes. "Y-ya mean ya ain't gonna holler at me for bein' queer?"

"No, sweetie."

"Just so long as you're careful and don't go putting on another blindfold waiting for any more 'surprises' with your mouth hanging open."

"Gee, I thought you guys would be sore at me for sure!"

"Butters, we love you very much," said his mom. "If you aren't interested in girls, we don't want to pressure you into something you aren't comfortable with."

"I can understand your love of the male form, son," his dad said. "Why, I remember one particularly strapping young lad down at the White Swallow…" He caught Linda glaring at him in his peripheral vision. "Ah, well, the point is everything's fine, Butters. You can join your pal outside now."

"OK!" he exclaimed happily and left the house.

"See? I was right," said Linda. "He _did _turn out gay. Time to pay up."

"Yeah, yeah," Stephen handed her a fifty dollar bill.

…

"Well, my parents are ready to go, so I guess I have to leave now," said Bradley.

"Oh, but we were having so much fun!" Kenny feigned disappointment.

"Let me give you my number," he said to Butters. "Do you have a scrap of paper?"

"Not with me. I can go get one."

"That's OK. Here," he held Butters' hand out and wrote the digits on his palm.

Butters giggled. "That tickles, Bradley!"

Kenny had to suppress the urge to growl like a wolf protecting its territory from an intruder.

"Give me a call tomorrow," Bradley told him. "Maybe you can come to _my _house."

"He can't!" Kenny burst out.

"I can't?" asked Butters.

"No. I wanted it to be a surprise, but I got us tickets to see _Man of Steel _tomorrow."

"Oh boy!"

"Well, maybe another time then," Bradley said. "You can still call me later tonight if you want."

"All right," he agreed.

"Bye, Butters," he hugged him.

"See ya later, Bradley," he waved as the car drove off. "I better go write down Bradley's number before it smudges. I can't wait for tomorrow, Kenny! You're so sweet," he kissed his cheek before running in the house.

Kenny sighed. "Great, now I have to scrape together some money for tickets. Anything worth having really _doesn't _come easy."

* * *

_Writing multiple plotlines in a single story is turning out to be a real challenge. I sure hope I didn't bite off more than I can chew _o_O

_Disclaimer: I don't own __**Man of Steel**__ or the Whitney Houston song "Love Is a Contact Sport."_


	7. Slim Chance

_Things are off to a lousy start at Hopeful Hills. How will Cartman survive fat camp with Wendy as his peer counselor?_

* * *

**_Slim Chance_**

"Now that you've all been paired up with a counselor," Rick finished, "we'll give you a little time to get to know each other."

Wendy walked over to her new "client" with a sour look on her face. "Cartman."

"Testaburger," he returned her greeting with his arms crossed.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to better myself by getting in shape, Wendy," he put on his calm business demeanor. "It really is a lovely facility, don't you think?"

"Don't play innocent with me. I don't know what you're up to, but I'm here to aid in the fight against childhood obesity."

"Oh, this is bullcrap! I came here to lose weight, and they stuck me with a loud-mouth hippie chick! This whole peer counselor thing is a conspiracy against me!"

"Look Cartman, I don't care how you feel about me, but this is an important cause, so you'd better not mess things up around here!"

"Ah, Wendy," said a prudish voice behind her. "My, you're looking radiant as always."

"Sorry, I'm a little busy right now, Gregory."

"I know what you mean. An activist's work is never done."

"AH-FAG!" Cartman sneezed.

"Do you have to add your two cents into _everything_?" Wendy screamed.

"Wendy, I really can't be around you when you're like this," Cartman responded calmly. "I have feelings too, you know. Later, ho," he walked away.

"Cartman, come back here!"

"Let him go for now," Gregory placed his hand on her shoulder.

"It's my job to keep an eye on him. Come to think of it, where's _your _camper?"

"I left him with Rick and Susan so I could talk to you. I heard about your breakup with Stanley. I never would have guessed it."

"We've broken up before."

"Of course you have. I was referring to the unexpected circumstances behind this breakup."

"What unexpected circumstances?"

"Oh come now, Wendy, you don't have to pretend with me. After all, I'm sure it wasn't _your _fault Stanley ended up being a little light in the loafers."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Gregory," she answered defensively.

"Oh, don't I? My occupation has made me extremely perceptive to changes in people's behavior. Do you really think I didn't notice him sneaking off during recess with that little boy toy of his? Honestly, for somebody who wishes to remain in the closet, he certainly isn't very effective at hiding his little trysts."

"That's none of your business!"

"I must say it's quite humorous: all this time, Stanley Marsh acts as the South Park Cows' star quarterback, when he really plays much better as a _wide receiver_," he chuckled.

"How can you be so insensitive?"

"You of all people should understand my contempt for that rogue. You chose him over me. I see it only fit that I expose him for what he truly is."

"People know that you don't like Stan, and you look down on everybody anyway, so why would they listen to you?"

"I think that these photographs would speak volumes." Gregory pulled out several pictures of Stan and Gary sharing what they thought were private romantic moments together.

Wendy gasped. "How did you take these without them knowing?"

"Please! I would have looked far too conspicuous disappearing to follow them around. I have a contact in my line of work, and he took them for me."

"Gregory, Stan doesn't deserve this. I don't want him to get hurt."

"Oh, he won't…as long as you cooperate."

"What do you want?"

"I want you as my girlfriend. I want Stanley to feel the betrayal I felt when you left me for him. And if you think I'm joking, my source also took video footage of their rendezvous, and it can go viral at any time. So what will it be, Wendy?"

She sighed in defeat. "All right. I'll be your girlfriend."

"Wonderful," he grinned. "Best get back to work. See you later, love." Gregory gave her what felt like the kiss of death on her cheek. She couldn't think about that for long, though. Right now, she needed to find her camper.

…

Cartman stood in front of the mess hall taking in the savory smell of dinner cooking. "Mmm…Swiss Colony beef log…" his mouth watered.

"There you are," said Wendy.

"Oh, you again. You forget something?"

"You can't just wander off on your own, Cartman. We're supposed to stay together."

"I don't remember ever agreeing to that."

"Why do you have to make this so difficult?"

"If you don't like it, I suggest you find another camper to counsel."

"Believe me, I'd love nothing more, but like it or not, we're stuck with each other."

"I really don't need you to look after me, Wendy. I have no desire to stray from the program."

"You already found your way to the cafeteria, and dinner is hours away."

"God dammit! Are they trying to starve me here?"

"Part of the idea is eating healthier, as in not around the clock. You'd know that if you were actually here to do the program."

"Wendy, is it really so hard to believe that I'm trying to do something positive with my life?"

She gave him a deadpan look.

"Well, I am!"

"Prove it to me then. Show that you can get along with me as your peer counselor well enough to make a real effort at getting in shape."

"Fine! I'll show you!" he got up in her face. "I'm gonna be the best camper here—way better than all these other fat assholes! Let the games begin, bitch!"

"Well, you're off to a great start," she commented sardonically. "Listen, why don't I give you a tour of a place—show you around a little to pass the time?"

"Heh! Show's how much you know. I've been here before; I know all about Hopeful Hills."

"OK, then you can show _me _around. This is my first time here, and I'd like to get as familiar as I can with the camp."

"Well, you picked the right guy, Wendy," Cartman boasted. "I can show you all the ins and outs of this place."

"Lead the way."  
"Don't mind if I do," he proudly marched along in front of her.

As they walked along the grounds, they ran into Gregory and his camper. "Hello, what's this?"

"Cartman's showing me around."

"Perfect!" Gregory clapped. "We're both newcomers as well. Perhaps we can join you?"

"Perhaps not," Cartman suggested.

"What a shame," Gregory sighed. "A tour of the campgrounds would be a delightful way for us to spend our afternoon together, Wendy. Oh well…I suppose I could entertain my new friend here with a nice home movie instead."

"Uh…Cartman, can't they please come along?" Wendy begged. "It wouldn't be any harder to show the same spots to three people than to one, would it?"

"Ugh…I guess not."

"Thanks, old chap!" Gregory told Cartman as he locked his arm with Wendy's and clasped her hand.

"God, French people piss me off," he muttered.

* * *

_I'm afraid this chapter may have turned out a little weak :( But you won't have to wait as long to get a better story from Cartman's perspective—the next chapter will be one of those rare ones involving all of the boys' vacations ;-D_


	8. Tangled Webs

**Finally, the chapter about everybody is here :-D Woohoo!**

* * *

"Here we have the Hopeful Hills Lake," Cartman guided his "tourists." "This is where we go to swim—a piss-ridden, algae-infested, fish-fucking lake," he complained.

"I think it looks pretty," said Wendy.

"Its light blue waters pale in comparison to your deep blue eyes," Gregory wooed her.

"Give me a break," she and Cartman both grumbled. Then they looked at each other and giggled at their shared sentiment.

Gregory and his camper observed them curiously, at which their laughter ceased.

Cartman cleared his throat. "Now, if you'll follow me this way, I'll show you where we wash off said piss and algae afterwards."

"Attention, campers," Rick's voice came over the PA system. "Supper will served shortly. Please join us in the dining hall."

"Sweet…" Cartman purred. "Uh…this concludes the first portion of our tour. Please hold all questions until the end of dinner." With that, he bolted for the mess hall.

"Wait for me!" his fellow camper called. "I don't know where I'm going!"

"Don't stop him, chum," Gregory muttered to himself. "I'm sure running to the feeding trough is the only exercise _that _one will get."

"Gregory, we're supposed to be encouraging these kids, not putting them down," Wendy scolded him.

"My only responsibility is the well-being of my _own _camper. I claim no loyalty to any of the others," he said as he walked ahead with his nose in the air.

_How in the world did he get to be a peer counselor? _Wendy thought as she watched him in astonishment.

…

Wendy arrived just as the meals were being served. Gregory waved her over and patted the seat next to him, which she reluctantly took.

Cartman could hardly contain his excitement as the plates containing his favorite beef log were passed around. However, he promptly deflated when his was placed in front of him. On his dish was a small slice of meat next to a plain baked potato over a bed of spinach leaves with lemon juice dressing. "The fuck is this? Where's the rest of it?"

"I think this is everything," Wendy said, her voice laced with a hint of sympathy.

"Son of a bitch!" He got up and stomped toward the exit.

"Hey!" she speed walked to block his path. "I thought you said you were going to make a real effort this time."

"How am I supposed to survive on a sliver of beef log?" he yelled.

"You can have my spinach leaves if you want."

"Oh, that's real funny, Wendy."

"I'm serious: spinach will help you feel full without all the extra calories."

"Hmph," he pouted.

"Come on, Cartman. Neither of us will get anything out of this program if you don't try. Please?" she put her hand on his shoulder, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Gregory.

After a moment of consideration, Cartman sighed and resigned himself to sitting at the table again.

Wendy got right to placing her spinach on his plate. She watched him pierce some with his fork, then eye it suspiciously before putting it in his mouth and chewing slowly. She couldn't help smiling at this small success.

Gregory held a stern gaze at his girlfriend's second friendly display as he subtly wrapped his arm around her. Once again, all signs of happiness disappeared with his interference.

* * *

Kenny trudged through the door of his house that night feeling dejected. He'd been looking forward to spending more alone time with Butters, and now that was being threatened by Bradley the boy wonder. Kenny narrowly avoided keeping Butters to himself by promising him movie tickets for tomorrow, which he didn't have the money to buy. He couldn't ask his parents since any extra cash was already spent on Pabst Blue Ribbon. Maybe Kevin could help him out?

Kenny knocked on his older brother's bedroom door. "Kev?"

"Wussup?" he opened it.

"I kinda promised somebody I'd take them to the movies tomorrow, but I'm broke. Do you think I can borrow a few bucks?"

"Sorry, Ken, but I'm savin' up ta buy some cough syrup. I'm gonna drink it from a Styrofoam cup, just like them rappers on TV!" he flashed a stupid grin.

Kenny sighed. "I guess I have no choice but to ask Karen."

"Ya can't ask 'er now," Kevin said. "She's stayin' at 'er friend's house fer the weekend."

Kenny stared ahead like a zombie. "I'm fucked," he stated calmly. "I'm totally fucked."

He walked down the hall slumped over. _If I don't get those tickets, Butters will know I lied to him. Then he'll go running right into Bradley's arms. I can't lose him!_

As Kenny walked past his little sister's room, he noticed something glimmering inside her open door from the hall light. He walked in to get a closer look and saw that it was a clear cookie jar filled with coins. _There's way more than enough money in here to afford those tickets. I really should wait to ask Karen, but then I won't get them in time for the movie tomorrow. _He bit his lip in frustration trying to decide what to do. _Well…I'm sure she'd lend it to me anyway. I can always put it back in later before she notices it's gone._

With his mind made up, Kenny carefully removed the lid and took out the necessary amount of change before quietly sneaking off to his bedroom.

* * *

Kyle lay in his sleeping bag under the tent in the wee hours of Sunday morning, having been wide awake all night due to his unwanted guest's heavy mouth-breathing. All of a sudden, he jolted up at the sound of a wake-up trumpet being blown.

"Oh, Jesus! That's loud!" Kyle's cousin Kyle exclaimed.

Francis' yawning signaled he was waking up, so Kyle shoved his cousin out of the tent before he was seen.

"Ow! I think I fractured my hip!" he whined from outside.

"Morning already?" Francis rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"At least you slept," Kyle commented.

"Having a hard time adjusting to being out in the middle of nature?"

"Uh, yeah…" he lied.

"Thanks again for giving me your s'mores. They're like my favorite dessert ever."

"I kinda had a hunch from that outfit of yours," Kyle smirked.

Francis looked down at the Snacky S'mores shirt he had on. "Oh, that's right," he laughed. "I guess I wear it so much, I don't think about it anymore."

The two of them exited their tent as Rabbi Schwartz gathered everyone together. "Boys," he said, "today we'll be going on a scavenger hunt. You'll be given a list of items hidden in the woods around the campsite, along with a satchel to collect them, some food and water should you be gone long, and a compass to find your way back if you get lost. Older Scouts will go in tent mate pairs, while all the Squirts will go in one group led by their Squirt master. And don't worry about another team snatching up all the items; each list has a unique set of objects to be found. Good luck!"

After all the groups received their lists, they headed out for the hunt.

"What's the first thing on the list?" Kyle asked Francis.

"An opal… what's an opal?" he wondered.

"I think it's some kind of blue stone."

"That should be easy enough to spot," he said as they headed into the forest.

…

"Come on, Squirts," Shlomo beckoned them to follow.

They walked a good distance without a word spoken.

"Squirt master?" one of them finally asked.

"Yes, Joseph?"

"Aren't you going to look at the list?"

"We're not having a scavenger hunt, kids. I stayed up late last night working out all the details of our weekly schedule from now on; before this summer retreat's over, we're gonna capture Bigfoot."

* * *

Stan began to stir as sunlight poured into the hotel room. He yawned and opened his eyes to find Gary looking at him.

"'Morning, sleepyhead," the blond boy beamed.

"'Morning." Stan raised his arms to stretch, but cringed when he felt a dull pain. "Ow…"

"What's wrong?"

"I guess my shoulder's a little sore from last night," he rubbed it.

"Oh…" Gary felt terrible about using his hammerlock technique on him. "I'm sorry, Stan. I didn't really mean to hurt you."

"Hey, it was my fault for egging you on in the first place. Besides, I kinda liked seeing that more dominant side of you," he smiled.

Gary blushed. "Well, I think my nice side can be more helpful right now." He started massaging Stan's shoulder with his fingers.

"Mmm…that feels good. Where did you learn how to do _this_?"

"I picked it up from my parents. They always massaged my sore muscles after wrestling matches."

"Is there anything your family doesn't do together?" Stan joked.

"Nope, never," Gary answered proudly. "We've always supported each other in everything we do." He sighed wistfully. "It won't be the same after Mark's married. We've all lived together my whole life; it's like I'm losing my brother."

"You aren't losing him, Gary. It isn't like he's moving to another country. Utah's just a state away from Colorado, right?"

"Right," he cheered up a bit.

"Boys, are you awake?" Mrs. Harrison knocked outside their door.

"Yes, Mom."

"Hurry and get dressed so we can have breakfast in the dining room downstairs. We don't want to leave too late this morning."

"All right," said Gary. "You can change here," he told Stan. "I'll go change in the bathroom."

"Wait," Stan stopped him. "Last night…"

"Yeah?"

"What was that about my dad preferring I went out with someone else? I really don't think he misses me dating Wendy."

"Neither do I," he agreed.

"I don't get it then…"

"It's nothing," Gary shook his head. "I was just upset and I was letting off some steam."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "I'm fine now, _really_."

"OK, good."

"I'd better get going before my mom thinks we're undressing in front of each other," Gary chuckled.

"You wish," he teased him.

As Gary left, Stan listened carefully until he was certain his boyfriend was in the bathroom. Walking over to his suitcase, he opened a zipped compartment inside. He then retrieved a large bottle of whiskey, took a long swig, and quickly returned it to its hiding place.

* * *

**I don't know why I thought it would be easier to write a chapter with ****_all _****the boys' vacations…four times the storylines really does equal four times the work o_O**

**P.S. If anyone gets an alert that I updated the previous fic "Mending the Fences," I just happened to find a small typo and decided to correct it—no major change.**

**P.P.S. Pabst Blue Ribbon and Styrofoam aren't mine, of course.**


	9. Terms of Engagement

**Wow…I never would've predicted such a strong reaction to Stan's drinking O_O Although, I guess it did seem to come out of left field, what with things going so well in his life now. To tell you the truth, after it was published, I started to wonder if I had really made the right move. I briefly thought about having it come to a head right in this next chapter and getting it out of the way, but that would only be lazy on my part and anticlimactic for everyone reading. So for now, all I can say is that everything will become clear when the time is right. I'm just asking you to trust me until then. I promise I'll do my best not to let you down ;-)**

* * *

**_Terms of Engagement_**

Late Sunday afternoon, the Harrison van turned a corner into the long private driveway of Mark's future in-laws.

"Whoa, dude!" Stan gaped as they approached the mansion. "This place is huge!"

"Mark's girlfriend comes from a wealthy family," Gary explained.

When the car came to a stop, Stan could see a young woman standing in the front doorway of the house.

"There she is," the eldest Harrison boy smiled. "Beth!"

"Mark!" They ran to each other and kissed deeply.

Gary and Stan giggled quietly, while little David scrunched up his nose and said, "Ew!"

"I can't believe you're finally here," Beth beamed. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too," Mark hugged her tightly. "And so has my family. You remember my parents," his guided her view with his hand, "my sisters Jennifer and Amanda, and my brothers Gary and David."

"Of course. It's great to see all of you again," she hugged them.

"And this young man here is our friend Stan. Stan, this my fiancée Beth."

"Hi," Stan waved.

"It's nice to meet you, Stan," she shook his hand.

Sparky put his paws on the inside of the car window and yipped.

"Oh…" Beth looked a little worried. "I didn't know you'd be bringing a pet."

"Oh, yeah," Mark remembered. "That's Stan's dog Sparky."

"Mark," she spoke softly, "you know my mother has a cat."

"Don't worry," Stan stepped in. "Sparky's a friendly dog. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Right, boy?"

"Ruff!" Sparky replied.

"Well, _here_ you folks are," Beth's father stepped outside. "How was the trip, my boy?" he clapped Mark's shoulder.

"Just great, Mr. Anderton."

Beth's mother followed her husband and hugged Mark. "I think you might have grown since the last time we saw you."

"Mom, don't embarrass him," Beth playfully rolled her eyes.

"How are you, Mrs. Anderton?" Mark laughed.

"I'm fine, dear."

"It looks like we have a new face among us," Mr. Anderton noticed.

"Mom, Dad, this is Stan. He's a friend of the Harrisons."

"Well, the more the merrier," said Mrs. Anderton. "Wes, why don't you help Mark and his father with their luggage while I give everyone else the tour?" She led the others inside, showing them the living room, dining room, kitchen, even a library room. "Now, I'm afraid we only have two spare bedrooms in the main house, but there are four more in the guest house out back."

"No way!" Stan exclaimed in amazement. "You have two houses? And I thought _Token _was rich…"

"Jennifer," Karen addressed her daughter, "you and Mark can use the spare bedrooms here, and Dad and I will stay with the younger kids in the guest house."

"Follow me and I'll show it to you." Mrs. Anderton brought them out the back door to a footpath leading to the guest house. However, what she saw in the backyard made her gasp. "Winston!"

There was Sparky, giving her male cat a taste of doggy style.

"Reow!" Winston whined.

The men came rushing back there when they heard Mrs. Anderton scream. "Oh, no!" Mark shouted.

"He must have gotten out while we were unloading the van," said Mr. Harrison.

"Somebody do something!" Beth's mother yelled.

"Sparky!" Stan ran up clapping to get his attention. Gary followed and helped Stan pull Sparky off the cat, who ran to hide in the mansion.

"We are so sorry," Mrs. Harrison apologized. "We promise to keep him in the guest house at all times."

"Come on, Sara," Mr. Anderton led his wife inside. "Let's go sit down and relax."

Beth glared at Mark.

"Um…maybe he's a little _too _friendly?" he shrugged nervously.

…

Stan made up his mind to stay in the guest house with Sparky for a while.

"We just got here," Gary tried to convince him. "You can't hide out all day."

"Why not? Mark probably hates me now," he pouted.

"Mark loves you, Stan; my whole family does. You know that."

"My gay dog just violated his future mother-in-law's cat. I don't think he's too happy that I came along."

"That'll blow over soon. At least there's no chance of Winston getting pregnant," Gary smiled. "Now, let's go be social."

"I'm not leaving," Stan crossed his arms.

"Well, then I'm staying here, too. It'll just be you, me and Sparky—we'll have a gay old time!"

Stan inadvertently snickered. "You're so corny."

"Why don't we pick out our bedroom?" Gary suggested.

They started inspecting the various rooms.

"Aw, this one has a king size bed!" Stan called out. "And there's a widescreen TV on the dresser!"

"I think they're _all _like that!" Gary came running in from exploring a different room.

"Sweet!" Stan grabbed Gary's hand and climbed up on the bed. "I love this place!" he hollered as they held both hands and jumped up and down.

After about a minute, they let themselves fall back on the huge bed.

"I'm so glad you're here, Stan," Gary sighed blissfully.

"Me too," Stan rolled toward Gary and rested his head in the crook of his neck.

…

A couple of hours later, Stan, the Harrisons and the Andertons sat down together in the main house for supper. "I'd like to propose a toast," Wes held up his glass of water. "To Beth and Mark on their engagement, and the joining of our two families."

"Hear, hear!" everybody clinked their water glasses.

"I have a toast as well," Mark interjected. "To Stan, for being here with us for this incredible milestone in our lives."

"Hear, hear!" they clinked again.

"Told you he didn't hate you," Gary whispered to Stan.

"I realize our engagement's been a little unusual," Mark continued. "After all, I couldn't get down on one knee and present a ring over the phone," he joked, which everyone chuckled at. "But we aren't miles apart anymore, and I want to do this right." Mark pushed his chair back and kneeled in front of his fiancée. "Beth Anderton, I love you with all my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He pulled out a brick-red ring box and opened it, revealing a tenth-carat diamond set in a sterling silver band. "I know it isn't much, but if you marry me, I promise I'll save up to buy you a really great ring."

Beth began tearing up. "Yes, I'll marry you!" she cried, and everybody clapped as the ring was placed on her finger. "And I don't care how much money this is worth. What matters is that you bought it for me, so as far as I'm concerned, it's the most valuable thing I own."

The re-engaged couple kissed and held each other's hand throughout the remainder of the night.

* * *

**Just so it's clear, Beth's engagement ring is a ****_tenth_**** carat, not ****_ten_**** carats. A young person like Mark who comes from a middle-class family probably wouldn't be able to afford a really expensive ring :b**


	10. Kyle & Francis's Egg-cellent Adventure

I know this took quite a bit longer to update (please forgive me!), but I really wanted to put some more focus on the request fic I've been working on.

I've decided to answer questions from guest reviewers in the Author's Notes so I don't end up posting a bunch of reviews for my own story :-P  
**ILoveStyle****:** The Andertons aren't going to find out about Stan and Gary's relationship too soon. There might be some subtle clues along the way, but nothing really obvious.

* * *

**_Kyle & Francis's Egg-cellent Adventure_**

Kyle and Francis were scouring the forest floor in search of items on their scavenger list.

"Kyle, over here!" Francis called from a few yards away. "Do you think this is an opal?" He pointed to a small, light blue, oval-shaped object on the ground.

"Hmm…" Kyle crouched down to get a closer look. "Hey, it's a robin's egg! Is that on our list?"

Francis double-checked the paper. "No, but it could be on another team's."

"Or it could've fallen out of one of these trees," Kyle speculated.

"What should we do with it?"

Kyle thought for a second. "I think we should leave it for now in case it's part of the scavenger hunt. Then we can ask Rabbi Schwartz about it when we get back."

"Works for me. Maybe we should try looking for something else," Francis suggested. "We aren't having much luck with the opal right now."

"Well, what's next on the list?"

"The Magen David dangling from a low-hanging tree branch," he answered.

"_That's _gotta be hard to miss."

…

"Better gather a few more stones, Ishmael," said Shlomo. "Matthew, we could use one more bundle of sticks. Pull out those extra blankets, Joseph. Ike, are you ready with those colored pipe cleaners?"

"Buh buh buh!" he bounced over.

"Good. OK, Squirts, listen up: once all our sticks are here, we'll start tying them together with the pipe cleaners to make a fort. Then we'll drape the blankets over the fort and hold them down with the stones."

Matthew raised his hand.

"Yes, Matthew?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because we'll need a place to hide out while we wait for Bigfoot to make an appearance. If he sees us, he might get scared off."

"Guys out there is hurted," Ike added.

"Or he could attack us—that's right, Ike. So we have to be on our toes." Suddenly, Shlomo heard dead leaves rustling. "Uh oh. Quick, everybody under the blankets."

Once they were all safely hidden from view, they saw a pair of shoes walking by. "Hello?" the person called out. "Are you still behind me? I dropped by glasses and I can't really see where I'm going. Oh Jesus, I sure hope we're not too far from camp…" he mumbled as he wandered off.

"Phew," Shlomo wiped his brow. "False alarm, Squirts. Now, let's get back to building our fort!" he said excitedly.

…

By early evening, the scavenger hunt was over. After all the objects were accounted for, Kyle and Francis approached Rabbi Schwartz.

"How can I help you boys?" he asked.

"We were wondering if anyone's list of items included a robin's egg," said Kyle.

"_That _would've been a good addition to the hunt. But no, it wasn't on any of the lists. Why do you ask?"

"We found one in the forest this morning," Francis answered.

"It must have come from a nest out there." The rabbi shook his head. "It's a sad fact of life, boys—not all God's creatures truly are given a fair chance to survive."

"But there has to be _something _we can do to help," Kyle protested.

"I'm afraid not. It'll be dark soon and I can't have you walking around the woods at night—it's too dangerous. Now, go pick out some food to cook over the fire."

"Dude, there's no way we can leave that egg alone," Kyle whispered to Francis as they walked toward the coolers.

"But Rabbi Schwartz won't let us go back."

"Well, we'll just have to sneak out. We'll wait 'til everyone's asleep, then we'll go and rescue that unborn robin!"

…

When they were sure nobody else was awake that night, Kyle and Francis quietly crept out of their tent. They waited until they were in the forest to turn on their flashlights so as not to rouse anyone.

"This is the place," Kyle said when they got there following their compass.

"And there's the egg," Francis pointed his flashlight downward, while Kyle pointed his into the trees.

"There's a nest," he stopped. "It looks like the only one in this area. That must be where it fell from."

"How will we get it back up there?"

Kyle saw another tree branch a few feet below the one that the nest was perched upon. "We still have our satchel from the scavenger hunt—we can carry the egg in that while we climb up to the lower branch. It isn't too far from the ground."

"Got it," Francis nodded.

They stored the egg safely in the satchel, which Kyle hung around his neck by the drawstring. Then they carefully made their way up to the lower branch.

"All right," Kyle continued, "give me a boost up to the next one and I'll place the egg back in its nest."

They both stood up on the branch, and Francis lifted Kyle up. Kyle crawled along the top branch over to the nest and gently lay the egg down next to two other identical robin's eggs. "There you go," he said to the parents. Then he crawled back directly over Francis, who put his arms up to help bring Kyle back down, and the two of them slowly climbed back down to the ground.

"That worked out great!" Francis commented. "You had a pretty good handle on the situation."

"I guess I got it from when Stan and I took care of that egg in school. I guess I actually learned something in Garrison's class after all."

"Oh, thank God!" came a familiar, irritating voice. "I thought I'd be lost forever."

"Great," Kyle rolled his eyes. "What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, it was terrible, cousin Kyle! During the scavenger hunt, my tent mate suggested we look in a different part of the woods. He said he'd be right behind me, but then my glasses fell off and I guess he forgot about me. By the time I found them, he was gone and so was our compass. I've been wandering around aimlessly for hours."

"Well, I guess he'll _have _to put up with you tonight after leaving you stranded. Come on, we're heading back now."

As the three of them tiptoed back into the campsite, they were suddenly face to face with a flashlight held by Rabbi Schwartz.

* * *

FYI, Magen David is the Hebrew name for the Star of David (or Shield of David).

**SPECIAL NOTE: **A FanFic friend of mine who I've beta'd for asked me to speak out against the new incarnation of the SOPA bill (sorry if you already saw this notice in the companion side fic to this one, but he asked me to post it with _all _my stories).  
From what I've read, the bill would make it a _felony _to illegally stream copyrighted material, instead of just a misdemeanor. This would affect anybody singing cover songs on YouTube trying to get their name out there, and, according to my friend, would also affect other fan uploads (like stuff on deviantART, for instance).  
There have been some great things to come out of the current U.S. Administration, but this is definitely not one of them. Stay alert, and share your voice in opposing this outrageous act!


End file.
